Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
