She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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