i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
