I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just gargled with NyQuil
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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