I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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