The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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