PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
