Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm at about main and main street
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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