The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
