Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize