Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
