It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
