I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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