Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
