I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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