I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
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I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
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I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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