What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
