i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
