Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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