We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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