Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
