Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Randomize
