I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
