he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
