I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize