I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
