I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
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I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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