That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
