now i know why i became what i already was.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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