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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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