wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize