nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
