what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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