Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
