angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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