I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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