just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
