were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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