We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
