why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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