Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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