I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
