Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
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Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
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I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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