i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
