Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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