what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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