A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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