what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
