Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
