happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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