My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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