so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize