so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
