i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
