all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize