I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
