tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize