batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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