Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
