You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
