I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
