mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize