I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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