Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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